Friday, October 22, 2010

Warning:


"Stay-at-Home Mum" is a condition with many risks. There are many afflictions associated with this condition. You may experience symptoms and side effects such as; laundry hand cramp, dish-washing depression, tinnitus, "mommy brain", mood instability, sweat pants addiction, verbal diarrhea (sometimes specifically regarding children), outbursts of weeping, general malaise. Possible risk of increased cardiovascular disease and insanity. These can be serious and you should consult your physician if symptoms remain for longer than a period of 18 (eighteen) years.

Treatment and Prevention:

Treatment of symptoms and side effects associated with "Stay-at-home Mum" are as follows: Prolonged stay in a spa or similarly relaxing environment. A nanny/housekeeper or other person employed to assist with the daily work of a stay-at-home mum (If there is another adult residing within the domicile, it is preferable that they assist). Wine or other alcoholic beverage consumption (note: this treatment carries its own risk of side effects). Five freaking minutes of alone time.

Prevention of this condition can be achieved in the following ways: Arrangements for alternate childcare. Don't have kids.

Additional Information
"Stay-at-Home Mum" is a state that is often chosen, rather than required. Often it is both at once. This condition is not infectious, thus persons wishing to avoid this condition need not shun persons currently living with it. While "Stay-at-Home Mum" does often make one more focused on [their children], this does not mean that other topics of conversation will not arise. Oddly enough, people afflicted with this condition often have many things to say on a variety of topics. Persons with "Stay-at-Home Mum" may complain from time to time; as with any other job, there are ups and downs and one should attempt to be sympathetic even if one does not fully comprehend what's so terrible about [current dilemma] - chances are that some people don't understand what the hell is wrong with you, either.



Disclaimer: The preceding is not the statement of a medical professional. The preceding is the statement of a current sufferer/enjoyer of the condition "Stay-at-Home Mum." Said person loves her kids more than anything in the world, but occasionally wishes that she could run away (all alone) and live in a tree house in a temperate climate.

2 comments:

  1. My Mom was baby-sitting her two grandkids yesterday and today and she said to me: "I have no idea how I raised four kids". I have no idea how anyone does it. It is hard, often thankless work, that makes you worry all the time. Sounds impossible.

    I will be doing the latter of your preventative steps! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL!! I need a day of vacation!! I just KNEW it!!

    ReplyDelete