Thursday, November 18, 2010

No. I am Not Mad at You.

I have always been a fairly straightforward person. If I'm angry with you, then you will know I am angry with you. Will you know because of snide looks? Because I've mentioned it to someone else? Because I haven't called in a while? No. You will know, because I will have told you. I'm good that way. I figure if you're mad at someone, the best thing to do is tell them, sort it out (or not, as the case may be) and move on.

Sometimes, I sound annoyed. I'm sure you do too. Really, is there a single person out there who hasn't snapped at someone when they're really upset about something entirely different? Don't lie, now, I know you have. But, please, believe me when I say that just because I sounded a little "snippy" on the phone, does not mean I'm mad at you.

Occasionally, I will be a little peeved with you, but because I know that it's irrational and really not worth mentioning since there's nothing you can do to fix it anyway (like say, if I call up all hopeful that you can babysit but it's short notice and I really don't expect you to be able to; and you can't.), I don't mention it. Please do not ask me "are you mad at me?" Sometimes, though I was only annoyed before, the question "are you mad at me?" will make me, yes, mad at you. And then I will tell you. (See above.)

There have been times when you've called and I may have been a little short with you. You don't know that I've been wiping yogurt off the wall, breaking up wrestling matches, folding 11 loads of laundry, finding lost shoes, making lunch that no one will eat, and really just need to lay down; how could you? I don't usually bother to explain all that because it's kind of every day life, and you might think that I'm complaining, when really I'm just telling you about my day.

It has happened once or twice that you've given me advice. Maybe unsolicited advice. Maybe the same advice. Maybe over and over. And possibly, when I try to explain to you that I have tried that advice and these are the reasons it didn't work and you tell me that if I don't want advice I shouldn't ask for it, I find that I am, not angry but, frustrated. Frustrated can sometimes sound like angry. I'll try to differentiate better.

To recap: No. I am not mad at you.


  1. LOL :) you should live in the South where NO ONE tells when they're really mad at you and we all have sweet, syrupy voices that drawl in our long southun accents...

    Okay maybe it's not quite like that.

  2. Lol - I think I've got enough passive-aggressive non-anger up here, thanks! :) Although it might be nice to (not) hear it in a different accent...