Wednesday has become my favourite day for many reasons: it's the middle of the week and there is weekend in sight, Beege has piano lessons after school so I (theoretically) get an extra hour of alone time, and (perhaps most importantly?) if there is any cake in the house I actually have the time to sit down and
Grandpa is still in the hospital. I feel much better now that he's finally under the care of some health professionals, but I'd feel better still if they could seem to figure out what the problem is. That's what they do there, right?
This morning, Beege and Kee came running into my bedroom and jumped on the bed, yelling about Hanukkah. I'm not Jewish. Neither are they, to my understanding, but Beege's really into playing dreidle and getting a menorah this year... I'm okay with that. Especially since when I was looking up things to tell her about the holiday I found out that part of the celebration is fried foods. Really? I can get behind celebrating fried foods.
I suppose this is around the time that children start asking about religion? I'll have to do some research. I'm not from a religious family, myself, and so don't really know much about any of it. I went to Sunday school, once, with a friend. All I remember is that there was orange juice.
I'm one of those "not sure" people. I think that there must be something bigger than us. We can't be all there is. That seems just too... random. When you get right down to it, nature isn't very random. How can you explain animals knowing what to do from the moment they're born? Bees are an interesting case. I mean, how did they know that they should go drink pollen and then bring it home and spit it on the wall? But while I believe that there is something larger than us, I've always felt it more laying out in a field with bees buzzing around and birds flying by and the sun warming us all.
And since I don't know anything about any of it, we will celebrate it all. We will embrace each culture and see what sticks. If they decide to attach themselves to a certain religion and its beliefs, I will support that. And if they decide that they'd rather lie in a field with me, I'm cool with that too.
I guess, with the various holidays approaching and mortality on my mind from both ends of the spectrum, I can't help but start thinking about higher powers. I'm not comfortable believing that when I say goodbye to someone I love, they just turn to dirt; I'd much rather believe that they are somewhere finally having the chance to just do what they love.
Do horrible things happen so that people have a chance to be good? Do there need to be people less fortunate so that people have a chance to help? Who decides who gets to be on which side? Why have I been lucky enough to get a beautiful family who loves me when someone else is starving and being beaten? If I question, do I not have faith? Do I need to believe in an all powerful caretaker to get into the after party? There are too many questions, and not enough answers.
Anyway, Beege's birthday is on Monday so you can bet that at this time next Wednesday, I'll be full of cake.
Oh - I just checked. I was born on a Thursday. Apparently, I have "far to go".