Thursday, January 21, 2010

My kid is in the hospital.

I hate waiting. I especially hate waiting when I feel that I should be DOING something. Big B has been sick for the past few days... she's been throwing up and rejecting even water. No idea what's wrong with her except that she's an empty shell of the spitfire that is my child.
So this morning, after being up with her every two hours all night, I sent her to the hospital with my husband - and that is where she is right now. This is the worst feeling ever. She is in process of possibly having an I.V shoved into her tiny four year old hand to rehydrate her. And I am blogging.
I keep telling myself that this is the way it has to be, I need to be here for Baby B and Husband is more than capable of dealing with this. However, I am the MOM! My baby needs me and I can't be there, and it feels awful.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

When do I get my life back?

When I was thinking of having babies, it did occur to me that I would need to devote a certain amount of time to them. I mean, in the beginning, they'll be on the boob every four hours or so; add diapers and snuggling to that and it leaves you time for a shower every few days.

I was naive enough, however, to think that I would get my life back at some point. "When she starts sleeping through the night, I'll have more time..."
"When she's a little older and can play alone for a bit (DREAMING!), I'll have more time..."
"When she starts school, I'll have more time.."
Who am I kidding?? Now that we're in school half days, I think we actually have less time than before. On a good day, it takes us an HOUR to get ready to leave for the school - which is across the street. Even more right now, when chasing kids around the couch with snowsuits and pleading are necessary.

Okay, well, in 4 more years, when both kids are in full day school, if they stay at school for lunch... why, I'll have a whole 6 hours a day to myself! And once I've got all the cooking/cleaning/errands/other stuff I do for other people out of the way, why, I'll likely have a whole 15 minutes to catch a quick nap!

So... I should probably mark it on my calender now that in 14 years when both my girls are old enough that it would be so totally embarrassing and uncool to spend any time with me, I want to go to a movie.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

So... now what?

So Christmas is over, and I must say .. thank goodness. I, personally, didn't have the best go of it.

First of all, no school for two weeks. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, but I'd really gotten used to that 2 1/2 hour break most days :)
Secondly, I had a sinus infection, which led to antibiotics, which led to a stay in the hospital where I became the proud owner of a shiny new Epipen.
Thirdly, just as my eyelids stopped swelling, I started throwing up. Then both my daughters started throwing up. It was really lovely. Although, no one was actually sick on the big day, and I did get to eat Christmas dinner (which I didn't throw up for almost 24 hours!) so that's something :P

The end of 2009 had kind of been kicking my ass. Husband? Never home, working two jobs, can't remember my name. Schoolwork? Kind of stuck, would rather clean the toilet or shower drain than do it. Children? Both exceedingly lovely, yet still working my last nerve. It did have it's high points - I got to take my girls to see the Wiggles, and the older one to an Opera, which she LOVED...

I'm excited for 2010... the bar is really not set all that high to be better than last year. Already, I've got hubby back, since the show he was in finished it's run! So come ON, 2010! Let's DO this thing!