This morning, I was pleasantly surprised to be woken up by two little girls snuggling into either side of me with their blankies. I wrapped my arms around them and snuggled them back and we all fell back to sleep together.
Then the alarm went off. Kee bolted upright, yelling "cover it up! Cover it up!"
Beege started whining about Kee yelling. Okay, peaceful morning over. Time to get up.
Have you ever had a day where you just feel kind of sad? For no reason? I have them now and again, and lucky me, today is one of those. Don't look at me sideways, because I'll probably sob like a baby who just dropped her bottle.
My living room has been destroyed. They cleared every single shelf. The books, the toys... their craft table and chairs tipped over and covered in stuff... I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know that it only took them five minutes. I know that because that's about how long it takes me to move laundry from the washer to the dryer.
I made lunch. They covered themselves in it. Finally with some cajoling/screaming on my part, everyone is clean, clothed, ready and out the door.
I was in such a hurry getting them ready to go that I forgot to wear a bra. Or comb my hair. Or brush my teeth. Which, really? Who cares? I'm wearing a bulky winter coat and a hat and I don't really need to talk to anyone. Except for the the fact that today is the day there's an assembly with live animals at Beege's school that I had said I'd take Kee to.
However, on a day like today, a day when I feel like I'm plugging a dam with my finger, there's just no way. Besides all that, does a kid who's been acting like an animal all morning really deserve a special treat? Maybe not.
So, after arranging a time to come in for a conference with Beege's teacher about her recent behaviour (without crying!), I walk home feeling like a failure. The dam is pretty close to breaking.
But I've decided that I don't want to sit around crying this afternoon, so I'm going to do this instead:
5 Things That Make Me Happy
1. Waking up to snuggly daughters
2. Sitting in the sunshine watching them build a snowman out of the last vestiges of slush on the back porch. Together! Without fighting!
3. Looking forward to hanging out with my little sister all day on Saturday.
4. Watching Beege read a story to Kee while they snuggle on the couch.
5. Knowing that this (whatever this is) will pass.
Maybe this evening, once the girls are in bed and I can be off duty, I'll make some hot chocolate, snuggle under a blanket and throw on a movie that makes me bawl.
For now, I'm going to go make a loaf of bread, because watching the little explosions the yeast makes is another thing that makes me happy.