Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Zoo Won't Take Them.

Lord knows I've had moments when I haven't liked my kids very much. I've had moments when I wanted to make them sleep outside rather than go in their room one more time to break up the inevitable evening argument. I've perhaps had moments when I actually told them I was thinking of boxing them up and sending them to the zoo.

I'm pretty sure that as they get older, they'll understand how I could have felt like that. Heck, we talk about our feelings a lot around here, and we try and help them identify what exactly it is that they're feeling when they have a meltdown; not only so that they understand their own feelings, but so that they can understand other people's as well. Beege has said to me, "mummy, you look a little frustrated. Maybe you should have a quiet minute."

I know that I can't be the only person who's felt like maybe they don't like their kid so much. It's really hard to like someone who's screaming in your face, hitting you and/or stripping off the snowsuit it just took you ten minutes to wrestle them into when you've only got five minutes to get everyone out the door.

This parenting thing is hard, no matter what anyone says. It just is. But why shouldn't it be? It's a relationship, and relationships take work. We work at them because we love the people involved, be they our parents, our siblings, our children or our spouses.

It's one thing to feel like sometimes we don't like these people and write about it in a blog post. It's another thing altogether to write about how you think that maybe you love one of your kids more than the other. On the internet. Where your kids might see it someday.

That's what this woman did, and holy crap was there some backlash. A lot of people were angry, horrified for her kids and thought that she ought to seek psychiatric help. She, in turn, was upset by the response and wrote this rebuttal.

I have to ask what she expected when she typed out the words ‘it wouldn’t be so bad’ if she lost daughter, so long as she didn’t lose her son*. On the internet.

The internet is a very public place. You have the right to write whatever you like; but so do other people. You can't vent something personal and hurtful like that and expect people who don't know anything about you, except what you've written, to respond with the sympathy of a long time friend.

I, for one, will stick to discussing deeply personal issues with my husband, rather than posting it on the internet and hoping for the best. When I say something to him, he knows me, he loves me and he is going to respond like someone who knows and loves me.

The rest of you can hear about how Kee marched up to me, put her hands on her hips and yelled, "Go in the kitchen and get me crackers! NOW! ONE!... TWO!...THREE!" Then broke down giggling.





*This line appeared in the original article which has since been taken down, edited and put back up.

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