Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Conflagration.

As the sun comes up, they gather for their meeting. Their tousled hair and sleepy smiles make them seem almost angelic; if you overlook the hard gleam in their eyes.
"Good morning."
"Good morning. Let's get right to business, shall we?"

They settle, cross legged, onto the carpet and begin.
"Well, yesterday, I think we almost broke her," says the smaller of the two, pushing her soft blonde hair out of her eyes.
"Oh, definitely!" The elder one says excitedly, "you should have seen her after you went to bed - brilliant work, by the way - she completely broke down after she dropped her dinner on the floor. She threw a table! She even yelled at Daddy!"
"You don't think it was a bit much? I mean.. 'It's still daytime'... they know I'm smarter than that."
"That why it worked so well! It makes them nuts when we act like idiots."
"Alright.. so what's on the agenda for today?"
"Well, I guess we could go with fighting over everything we touch, that seems to work well."
"Oh," the little one sighed. "I'm getting sick of that. It's so TIRING. Isn't there something else we could try?"
"Well, she does seem to respond the strongest when we're discordant. You know how she keeps saying 'why can't you just get along'? I think that really is the sweet spot."
"Oh, okay, fine. But I kept getting put in my room yesterday, do you think that you could start it a few times today?"
"Yeah, sure."
"You know what though? I think that in a few days, we should behave."
The elder girl blinked, surprised. "What?"
"Well.. I've been thinking about it. If we pull the same stunts every day, won't that eventually inure her to it? After that, what's the point? If we give her a couple of days of good behaviour and then just when she's letting her guard down..."
"Slam her. I love it. Brilliant!"
"Right," the little one said, smiling. "But for today... are you ready?"
"What? Yeah.. hang on a sec," the big one ruffled the little one's hair and adjusted her blankie, then sat back to survey her. "Perfect."

They shook hands and stood up, smiling at each other.
"Ready?" Asked the little one.
"You bet," replied the big one.

"MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed the little one.

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