Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Boy Legs and Bribery.

Due to the huge mess that was yesterday morning, I wanted to leave plenty of time to get ready for school.

Here, by the way, is a picture of the three different kinds of horrible, barbed wire covered underpants that I tried to torture her with yesterday.

The barbed wire is invisible.

Offensive, right? After some consideration, I realised that the thing they had most in common, (they're different sizes, with different types of elastic, and different widths of gusset) was that they weren't diapers.

Yes, I know that's obvious. But the shape of them is completely different, and that's what I think was bothering her the most. The girls' underpants (that she picked herself) don't provide nearly as much coverage as a diaper.

Now that I think about it, asking her to try something new (or letting her, I guess, since it was her idea) in the last twenty minutes before we have to be out the door was just plain stupid.

We do have some training pants, but she wouldn't even put them on, because "they're not pretty." The thing about the training pants is that they're for boys. Which means that they have more coverage on the sides, and fit around the legs more like a diaper would. But if she won't even try the damn things on, we'll never know if she would like them better.

We already lost our day care spot in September* because she wasn't potty trained; I will go completely insane if she's not ready to start kindergarten. Completely.

So, this morning, I bribed her.

"Okay, honey. We've got lots of time, so how about this? How about, you try on these underpants? Just try them on?"
"No, thank you."
"How about if we set the timer for five minutes, and you just keep them on for five minutes?"
"Uhm... no. Thank you."
"How about if you keep them on for the whole five minutes, Mummy will give you some smarties?"

Five hours, six successes, and three accidents later**, she is still wearing underpants.

Training pants and Smarties: The winning combination.

The last pair. We've only got four pairs of these; a problem that will have to be remedied over the weekend. I've been washing them in the sink, and using a hair dryer to blow them dry. Which, obviously, is a little less than ideal.

And my house smells like pee.

I can not WAIT until this is over.

*I may be a little bitter. Just a bit.
**Is it normal for a kid to pee this much? Because I'm starting to wonder if I'm being Punk'd.


  1. gahhhhhhh! I went through this. I lived in the laundry room. I became intimately acquainted with my fabric softener, and also my wine bottle (not necessarily in that order).

    And I think you are really mean to put her in those barbed wire undies. They look very very painful.

    ps-- we did bribing too. We did not call it that. We called it "advanced rewarding of future implied good behavior" or AROFIGB for short.

    1. I think that now would actually be the perfect time to take up drinking. It would make the whole thing a lot funnier, yes?

      I know. I'm the meanest mother ever. EVER!

      I like the cut of your jib, MOV; AROFIGB it is!

  2. want us to pick some more un-pretty undies for her?

    1. Yes, please! (Although, the husband has to go out to get groceries tonight - if he can't find any, I'll call you.) Thanks!

  3. I had heaps of trouble with my's common that some kids still have trouble at pre teen...

    1. I'm crossing my fingers and toes that all goes well. I had a friend who had trouble until she was a teenager, but things like that tend to run in the family.

      She's doing really well, considering it's day two. I have to remember that she's never had to think about moving somewhere else before she starts to pee.

  4. Yay for gradual successes!!

    And I'm puzzled as to how the US and Canada both have candies called Smarties that are completely and totally different.