6:45 am : Small child climbs in to bed for a snuggle. Sweet. Realise small child smells like pee. Get out of bed, clean child, strip child's bed, start laundry. Bring small child back to my bed for promised snuggle.
7:00 am : Get out of bed. Turn on light in children's room and wake up not-quite-as-small child. Get told off by NQAS child because she was "finishing a dream." Come back five minutes later to find door closed, light off, and NQAS child back in bed. Take her blanket.
7:15 am : Listen to small child tell off Husband because she wanted both her pieces of toast at the same time. Be glad that it is not me being told off.
7:30 am : Get told off by NQAS child because we had replaced the toothbrush she dropped on the bathroom floor the night before with a shiny new one. Note to self: clean the freaking bathroom floor more often.
7:45 am : Get children clothing for the day. Make NQAS child's lunch. Pack backpack.
7:55 am : Put laundry in the dryer.
8:00 am : Realise I should probably eat too.
8:30 am : Try and get small child into day's clothes. Confiscate laundry basket. Confiscate soccer ball. Confiscate crayons. Take beloved Blankie hostage. Get small child into day's clothes. Return Blankie unharmed.
8:45 am : Realise that NQAS child has been in the bathroom for an awfully long time. Discover NQAS child in bathroom, trying to "wish [her] old, good, toothbrush into existence".*
8:50 am : Get everyone's shoes and coats on. Grab the stroller in hopes we will not be late for school. Convince small child to ride in the stroller by pointing out that flowers don't have feet, and thus cannot walk.**
9:00 am : Drop NQAS child at school, with hugs and kisses all around. For the first time this week, there has been no screaming and yelling.
9:04 am : Take advantage of small child's seeming good will and bribe her with a marshmallow to let me push her around the neighbourhood in the stroller for a bit.
9:45 am : Set up child in front of Blue's Clues with a snack so that I can have a shower. For the first time this week. Don't judge me.
9:48 am : Get out of the shower, reassure myself that all that yelling was stupid Blue and her friends.
9: 50 am : Finish rinsing hair. Get out. Fold laundry. Get bored and check my email instead. Play Castleville. Surf Pinterest. Realise that I haven't written a blog post since we lost the house, and that maybe I'm a little sad about the whole thing. Try and think of something decent to write about. Fail. Go back to Pinterest.
10:00 am : Decide that maybe I should actually get dressed. Find out that my only clean pair of pants has a mystery stain on the butt. Put pajamas back on. Watch Blue's Clues.
11:00 am : Make lunch. Get up eight times to get small child a spoon, a fork, more water, a bib, some carrots, etc.
12:00 pm : Get back on Pinterest. Check my email again, just in case anything truly fascinating has been sent to me in the past couple of hours. There hasn't. Try to think of something decent to write about. Fail.
12:53 pm: Promise readers that my next post will be more interesting, or at least shorter. Or maybe just a picture of a cute baby seal.
1:03 pm : Hit publish on strange post about my day thus far.
*The exact same toothbrush, except for a slightly different picture. And yes, when I asked her what she was doing, that is what she told me.
**Kee insists on wearing a pink poncho with a flower hood. Every day. Regardless of temperature or imminent downpour.