Thursday, May 17, 2012

Diamonds in the Rough.

I know that I've been writing about searching for a house a lot lately.

I can't even apologise for it; I need to write about it, because it's taking up my entire brainspace. I've been forgetting to do things like laundry, because I've been worrying that I would never find somewhere I wanted to live, and laundry just seems unimportant by comparison.

The thing is, I'm not just looking for a HOUSE.

I am looking for somewhere to teach my girls to cook. Somewhere to sit outside holding my husband's hand, and looking at the stars. Somewhere to bring new friends. Somewhere to revel in new found joys, and comfort the inevitable hurts. Somewhere to grow. Somewhere of our own.

I am looking for a place for my family and I to live our lives.

It feels so strange to be walking through other people's houses, filled with their lives, and considering putting my life there.

I feel kinship to houses where I see evidence of small children; where I see guitars stashed in corners, and half finished quilts peeking out from behind sewing machines. I also just can't imagine living in the houses that are all fixed up and fancy. (I am anything but fixed up and fancy.) Moving into a house where everything is already done would feel like living in someone else's house.  It's the diamonds in the rough that speak to me; the houses that you walk into and start seeing all the things that you would do if it was yours.

Which may be why we loved that first house so much in the first place -- the possibilities.

Which is probably why we've put in an offer on a house that needs a lot of work, but that I can see myself sitting at the window, with a blanket wrapped daughter who was startled awake by thunder cuddled on my lap, watching lightning streak across the sky.



A house with a backyard that is nothing but dandelions but that, if you squint a little, you can see my daughters running around in and laughing, while Husband and I watch from the (as yet non-existant) patio.

And, if said shelter just happens to have room for me to have space to work instead of on top of an old cardboard box behind the couch in the living room? All the better.


9 comments:

  1. I completely understand the whole house thing taking up all of the brain space. I sit down to write and my brain screams: HOUSE! Here's hoping your offer on your perfect-for-you house comes through!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks - I'm thinking good thoughts for you, too!

      Delete
  2. Yay for another offer!!

    It IS all-encompassing to attempt to buy a house - I totally understand!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My fingers are starting to hurt from crossing them so hard all the time.

      Delete
  3. You're doing it right. We bought like the second house we looked at because I was tired. Oops.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope you get what you want soon. When we sold my mum's house we wanted a family with young children, just like we used to be in it, to buy it and so we dressed it up to appeal to such a family and lo and behold they came.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Julie. :) It can only be a matter of time, right?

      Delete