Wednesday, May 9, 2012

How Not to Sell Your House.

For the past few weeks, Husband and I have been going to open houses and viewings almost every weekend. And while I would never claim to be an expert on what you should do to sell your house, I may have some useful advice about what you shouldn't do. 


1. Do not forget to mow your lawn, weed the garden, and pick up junk lying around outside. It may seem like a little thing, but it makes your house look poorly maintained right from the sidewalk. Blatant signs of disregard generally don't bode well for the rest of the tour.

2.Do not tidy away everything you own. Yes, you should definitely tidy up and put anything embarrassing away, but don't get rid of everything. It makes the house look kind of naked, and  makes it feel less homey. (Especially don't put everything in a storage container on the driveway; if the house hasn't got room for your stuff, what makes me think that it'll have room for mine?)

3. Do not assume that people won't look there. People are going to look everywhere. Yes, it's a pain in the butt, but you need to clean your fridge out, organise your cupboards, and not leave buckets of visibly dirty underpants out.

4. For the love of god, do not leave fecal matter in your toilet. I would have thought that one was obvious. Apparently not. In fact, clean it and leave the water all soapy and blue; that way you'll also be discouraging strangers from using your toilet.

5. If what you have in the basement is a stained toilet in the corner with no walls around it, and capped pipes sticking out of the wall that allow for the possibility of a future shower, do not refer to it as a "two piece bath". Enough said, I think.

Last, but not least: 
 
6. Do not tell people coming to view the house that you'd like them to leave a phone number "for security purposes, like, in case things go missing." That's really off-putting. 

Seriously. Clean it.



19 comments:

  1. Thanks for the Laugh! LOL
    We are not looking to buy.... but I am one of those nosy ladies and will check out open houses in the neighbourhood! ;D

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    1. You're welcome :).

      I used to go to open houses just to see what people had done and get ideas. A legitimate form of research, I say.

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  2. You say your not an expert...I disagree! You are right on with everything you said. Love all the advise!!

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  3. Seriously?? A Phone Number?? Wow.

    I mean, the fecal matter COULD be explained by a prior, and more rude, houseguest.

    Perhaps THEY should have requested a phone number - in case extraneous fecal matter was found.

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    1. This is great; I laughed out loud. I'm going to share it on Twitter. (But I had to reply to a comment because I couldn't figure out how to leave a new one? What am I missing??)

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    2. I think I was more disturbed by the toilet than the phone number request, but you're absolutely right, it *could* have been from someone who came to have a look. Both ways, it's pretty wrong. :P

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    3. Thanks, Rebecca! I'm not sure why you didn't get a comment box... Everything seems to be working at the moment.

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  4. I think you may have dabbled in a real estate career, no?

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    1. Nope, but I'm starting to think about it. Apparently common sense isn't as common as one would suppose; I could make a killing just based on my supior toilet flushing skills.

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  5. Oh my gosh! Did people do these things??! WOW!! They might need a new real estate agent too in this case!

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    1. You may be right, Holly. One of the agents was sitting and watching TV as we walked ourselves through; not exactly putting himself out for the sale.

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  6. to add to the "not tidy everything away" tip, you should not fill your microwave with crap just to clear it off the counter, especially if the door to said microwave is not opaque.

    Remember the house that the people stuck all their medications in the toaster oven? totally clear door... didn't look neat at all.

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    1. Yeah... That house was...nice. :P

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  7. Whoa! Phone numbers and turds?! Crazy. We've been house hunting too but (fortunately) haven't seen either of these issues :). Good luck with your hunt!

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    1. Thanks, Mareth... and may your own search be successful (and turd free)!

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  8. This made me cringe with the horror of recognition. I love it. Did you change your blog design?

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    1. Yep ... Apparently the Shabby Blogs background that I was using was causing a malware warning to pop up when people tried to view my site. I don't think that there actually was anything, but i figured better safe than sorry, right? I kind of like the simplicity of this one; basic Blogger, though it may be.

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  9. No choice but to rent a pod when de-cluttering condo with no garage.

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