Thursday, May 3, 2012

Jerk.

Today, on our walk, Kee and I saw some wildlife. And not our usual wildlife, you know; squirrels, robins, and road kill.

Today we stumbled upon a toad. I've probably never mentioned it before, but I kind of hate toads. And frogs. And lizards. And snakes. Fish. Really, anything with the appearance of being slimy and disgusting. Generally, I hate them because I'm afraid of them. I know, I'm a wimp.

So today, we came upon a toad. He was just sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, facing in the opposite direction. I made a lot of noise as we came up to him in the hopes that he would jump off to the side or something, but no, he would not be moved.

Then it occurred to me that he might be dead.

So we gave him a wide berth and went around in front of him. I crouched down to have a look, while Kee watched. Nope, he was breathing. And he was staring at me. A freaking toad was staring me down.

I didn't think we could just leave him there, because I couldn't help feeling that someone with a big all-terrain stroller and an iPod was going to come along and run him over. Especially considering all the noise I'd made to try and get him to move in the first place.

After a few minutes of false starts and loud noises, the toad was still sitting there staring at me. I don't know if you've ever sat and stared at a toad, but it's a little disconcerting.

I must have been focusing completely on the stupid toad, because I didn't notice the woman (with an iPod, but no stroller) who was jogging towards us.

As she got closer, the toad jumped at me. I fell on my ass. My daughter laughed.

His name is "Ick."

I indignantly brushed myself off and resumed my walk.

Now, not only am I creeped out by toads, but I also think they're jerks.


6 comments:

  1. Have you seen the "don't tease a frog video"?

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    Replies
    1. No.. I haven't. But I would like to point out that I was just trying to make sure the little bugger didn't get run over. :P

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  2. You win the prize for best paint illustration of a toad (errr...do you use paint?)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! (And yes, I do indeed use paint; with the mouse even!)

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  3. oh GOD you are HILARIOUS!

    I hete them jerks too! ;P

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