Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I'm It!

I'm  pretty sure that this is all supposed to be one post, but I'm going to have to break it up into at least two. For some reason I am decidedly unable to get more than five minutes at a time for pesky things like writing my blog, and I want to give this the attention it deserves.

What exactly is "this"? A game of tag! I got tagged by Tangled Lou over at Periphery, and I'm doing my best to keep the game going (especially as it's my favourite kind of tag, with no awkward running and unattractive sweating); although it is by now the slowest game of tag ever. (Sorry)

First, I will answer the eleven thought provoking questions put forth by the lovely Ms. Lou:

1. If there were 5 birds in your yard, which one would you eat? And why?
The chicken. Nobody specified what type of birds, so I'm going to assume that one of them is a nice chicken roasting on a spit in my barbecue. Otherwise, the answer would have to be none; I doubt I'd be very good at catching a bird (or any other animal), and the thought of plucking one (or just digging in while it's still covered in feathers) is just... well, it wouldn't happen. *shudder*

2. What's the best thing that happened to you when you were 7 years old?
I honestly cannot think of a single thing that happened to me when I was seven, so apparently nothing spectacular was going on. It may have been the year that I was in "Oliver Twist" at school (as an Orphan, a dancing girl, and the narrator's granddaughter); if so, I'm going to pick that.

3. If the mob was going to take one of your fingers to recover a debt, which finger would you give them? Why? (Or would you do that thing where you flip the table and grab the giant meat cleaver from Vito?)
 If I got the choice, I would give them the ring finger on my right hand. It doesn't really do much, and I don't wear jewellery other than my wedding ring. Of course, now that I'm typing, I'm rethinking that one; that finger is responsible for some fairly important letters. So if Vito was a little guy, I might try and grab the cleaver. Of course, Vito probably wouldn't be alone, would he? So even if I escaped, I'd have to run somewhere far away and start a new life. Which might be fun. But if I was feeling lazy, yeah, the right ring finger. Might be easier to relearn to type than to hide from the mob.

4. If you were to throw a drink in someone's face, what drink would it be and why would you do it?
It would probably be water (because I wouldn't want them to get burnt and/or sticky, and with no ice, because I'm nice like that), and it would most likely be because we had previously arranged to stage a fight in a McDonald's. (I have been trying to get someone to do this with me for the LONGEST TIME!)

5. Someone gives you a gorgeous mink coat for a gift, would you wear it? Why or why not?
 I would have to decline. Or maybe give it to someone else. I just couldn't look at it without getting a little teary. I do have a leather jacket (that I love), but for some reason, furs make me a little queasy. Maybe it's a little too close to grabbing an animal, pulling out it's innards and throwing the skin on your back? I don't know. It's the furriness of it.

6. You are trapped in an elevator with the following people: Elton John, Kathy Griffin, Jimmy Carter and John Malkovich. What do you do? Would you take pictures with your cell phone?
Nice tie, right?
First things first, I would position myself as far away from John Malkovich as humanly possible, because that dude freaks me right out. I would hope that Kathy Griffin didn't feel some need to entertain us all (she can get quite loud), and that Elton John did. Maybe we could take turns singing the wrong words to his songs (ie. Hold me closer, Tony Danza). I don't know a darn thing about Jimmy Carter, except that he was President once, so I would compliment his tie. I don't have a cell phone, but if I did, I would try and get a picture of me with each of them (even Malkovich - I did have a snake on me, after all) and a group shot with everyone making a silly face.  

7. Who did you want to be when you were 13? Are you that person? Why or why not?
When I was thirteen, I wanted to be an actress. Not an overly famous one, but a working one. Sadly (?), no, I am not that person. Why? Well, it just didn't work out. I went down a different road, and there haven't been any opportunities to start walking that one again. Yet. But who knows what the future holds? It's not likely, but it's not impossible.

8. If you found a finger in your burrito, would you set it aside and keep eating? Why or why not?
I would probably run it back to the kitchen to see who lost it and whether they could re-attach it. I probably wouldn't eat the burrito, because I don't even like it when other people's attached fingers touch my food, but hopefully whoever lost it would be willing to shoot me a new one on the house. (Although, if someone lost a finger in a burrito and it was still business as usual, I might decide to try somewhere else instead.)

9. If your navel dispensed the condiment of your choice, what would it be? Why? I'm thinking salsa. It's good on almost everything. Also, it smells pretty good; I like mustard but wouldn't want to be "that girl who smells like mustard".

10. Are you a ferret person?
Most decidedly not. I'm not really an animal person at all. I am afraid of almost all of them. Seriously. Fish and bunny rabbits bother me.

11. You are given an award for something you are very proud of. You get up to make your acceptance speech and they hand you a box of teeth. Does it throw you off? What do you do? Would you proudly display it on your mantel?
The box of teeth would throw me a little. However, it's an award for something I'm proud of, so I'd go with it. I would definitely display it on my mantle, because then I would get to to talk about winning my award without bringing it up myself all the time. Then when I got sick of telling the story, I would find some classy looking bigger box to put the box of teeth in, and display it that way. Although, I probably wouldn't get sick of the story, because uhm... I won an award... so maybe I would bedazzle it and add feathers.


At this point in the game, I should be coming up with eleven interesting facts about myself (hmmmm...) and posing my own eleven questions to the people that I tag... and I know you're breathlessly waiting to see who that will be...

However, due to Time's stubborn refusal to present itself in usable blocks, and my apparent inability to finish a sentence... 

To Be Continued...


  1. This is so fabulous! Thank you for taking your precious few minutes to play along! I giggle to think of the group shot in the elevator with silly faces. What a hoot.

    "The girl who smells like mustard" - I'm dying.

  2. WEIRD questions. Creative! I probably wouldn't eat the burrito.