Thursday, October 17, 2013

That Was Rude, Martha.

There has been a lot of crap floating around getting people's dander up on the internet this week.

http://www.businessinsider.com/martha-stewart-and-macys-court-ruling-2013-4
Let's start with The Martha Stewart thing. She doesn't respect bloggers. She thinks that we are untrained, and shouldn't be talking about things we don't know. We publish "untested recipes". We are not experts.

Well, I suppose, in a lot of cases, she's right.  When I post a recipe, I've only tested it in my kitchen, thought it was tasty and that my friends might like to try it. When I post about a craft, I'm showing you how I did it, and that is all. When I tell you about my kids, I'm mostly venting. I am certainly not trained to tell you about anything. I also never claimed to be. (And just so you know, Martha, the editor at Vogue was not trained as an editor.)

I'm actually not offended so much by Martha slagging bloggers as I am surprised. One would think that you'd recognise that there are an awful lot of us, and your business sense would stop you from potentially alienating a huge market base. Or at least that you'd exercise better manners. That was rude, Martha.

Our lack of expertise doesn't make our voices invalid. Just as your lack of training didn't stop you from becoming the head of a multimillion dollar multimedia empire.

Then there's the Matt Walsh Stay at Home Mom Thing. I am a stay at home mum. It is sometimes a thankless job and, I do think, a very important one. Mums who work, in the traditional sense of an outside paycheque, are also doing an important job. When you have a family, you make all kinds of sacrifices in all sorts of ways. We all love our kids. Can we leave it at that? I am wonderful, you are wonderful, she is wonderful too. It's not a competition. Let's move on.

And of course, the "Hot Mom" Thing.  Maria Kang is a fitness enthusiast. She says that she posted this photo to be inspirational, and I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe her.

There are detractors who think this is fat shaming, and there are the "you go girl!" supporters. This woman works out 5-6 days a week, and she's proud of the body that her hard work has attained her. That's great. Good for her! Just like if I work really hard on a quilt and post a picture of it. No, really. Why is it different? (Except for the fact that no one is going to feel goaded by a quilt, of course.)

If she wanted her inspirational message to be clearer, maybe she should have said "I did it, and you can too!" or something along those lines. It would have worked out better for her. "What's Your Excuse?" is a bit inflammatory. Physical beauty is an area where most women are sensitive. When you post something on the internet that seems to imply that the only reason any of us are walking around overweight or frumpy is because we're not trying hard enough, that's going to get a reaction. I think that it probably just didn't even occur to her.

So here's the thing. Just because someone is defending stay at home mums, doesn't mean they're saying anything bad about working mums. Just because someone is proud of their body doesn't mean that you should feel bad about yours. Martha being rude though, there's just no excuse for that. 



13 comments:

  1. Well said Jessica!! Love your take on all three of those issues.

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  2. I am not offended to either of them. But, way to tackle 2 hot topics!

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  3. That was awesome - Rick Mercer of bloggers with your ending! I think you need to vlog it now with crazy camera angles through the streets of Toronto. And Martha IS rude - I guess they didn't teach her any manners in prison finishing school.

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    1. Oooh... that would be fun. And I love Rick Mercer, so thank you very much for that! I think that Martha has always had some politeness issues, despite being a hospitality guru. Sad, really. :(

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  5. Love your take on these topics. Re: Hot Mom - I don't personally buy the inspirational thing, but whatever..... if she was trying to belittle anyone, then karma will get her in the end.

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    1. Thanks, Jenn :)
      Yeah, that Hot Mom.. like I said, benefit of the doubt. Apparently, shaming and belittling is a common method of motivation in some fitness/exercise circles. Which is just kind of gross all around. But if she did mean to demean those of us who don't have washboard abs, I kind of feel bad for her, because she's probably pretty insecure and a little sad.

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  6. Stop being so rational. You're making the rest of us look bad. ;)

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    1. Don't worry, Marianne, it's rare. ;)

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  7. Well said!!! Why is it that motherhood has turned into such a competitive sport? I've never understood why people can't just agree to do their own thing re the stay-at-home/go-out-to-work mother continual jockeying for virtue. We should all be able to make our own decisions and respect others for making theirs...but it never seems to work that way!! Great piece and yes, I agree, it sounds as if Martha S was being a bit dismissive of rather a big community!

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    1. Thanks for saying so - and thanks for stopping by. :)

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