Friday, February 28, 2014

BOO!

I hate being scared. I really do. I used to love it. I read a lot of murder mysteries, I watched scary movies, I liked to freak myself out. Since having kids, I've become a bit of a wuss, and it's comedies all the way. But even when I did enjoy that sort of thing, I hated being startled.

I remember for one birthday, my friends took me to "Screemers". Which, if you're not familiar, is apparently "Canada's #1 Indoor Haunted Scream Park".  Now, some people may enjoy this kind of thing but I am not, and never was, one of them. I remember stumbling through with my face buried in my boyfriend's shirt, yelling at the people who worked there that they should leave me alone because it was my birthday. When a snake dropped out of the ceiling, I screamed and fell on the floor and refused to get up until it was moved. I actually punched one of the people who jumped out at me. (I still feel bad about it.)

Anyway. If anything, it's gotten worse. I hate being startled. It doesn't help that I've got really poor peripheral vision, so it's really easy to do. I spend half my time jumping out of my skin. My husband thinks it's funny that I always position myself so that I can see the whole room, like I'm an old timey gunslinger or something. The truth is, it's so that I don't get startled and scream, and embarrass myself in public.

So it is unfortunate that Kee has decided that she is a ninja. And that ninjas need to sneak. It's what they do. And part of sneaking is that when it looks like someone is about to find you, you jump up and yell "BOO!" at them at the top of your lungs. Which makes me jump a foot and drop whatever I'm carrying. Which may actually be her goal now.

So now I have to find something for her to pretend to be that is still fun, but more highly visible. Any ideas?

And don't say "clown", because they are oddly terrifying too.





12 comments:

  1. I startle easily too and scream. I have screamed like a horror movie victim just because my husband walked up behind me. If anyone ever does try to kill me, they will have an easy and loud target.

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    1. It's amazing how alike we are, Lillian. Although, my first reaction when I'm started is to punch/shove/slap... while screaming. So hopefully if someone sneaks up on me to kill me, I'll at least get some skin under my nails so they can find the guy.
      Okay. That's a little morbid. And not applicable to my daughter. :\

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  2. (Floaty new age music) 'See the scream as an opportunity, a chance for the primeval inside to voice itself. Let go, surrender to the fear...'at best your children will have hastened your trip to enlightenment and at worst - you could crap your Kimbies.
    My sister wont watch scary movies with me anymore - sorry to break it to you Jess but it gets worse with age.

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    1. Ha! Let's hope it's the enlightenment one.
      You mean I'll get to be *more* of a chicken? That's not great news. :(

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  3. Haha, I'd tell her she should pretend to be a cat burgler. If she makes noise, she gets caught and thrown in jail :D At least then she gets to be ninja without the sneak attacks on you...

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    1. That's an option. That is definitely an option. ;)
      I would get the kid who thinks scaring her mum to death is cool. :P

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  4. Show her Manga and she'll see Ninjas don't yell "Boo!" ... although you may need to buy her a Katana

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    1. I will *gladly* buy her a katana if it means she's not scaring me out of my skin every five minutes. (Maybe not a real one...)

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  5. I hear you, loud & clear. I can't even handle the Fear Street or Goosebumps books that I once read long ago. :S

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    1. Lol... I used to LOVE scary movies and books. I don't know when I turned into such a chicken. I think it was once I had little people to look out for. There's enough real scary things happening in the world without adding imaginary things to think about.

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