I hate being scared. I really do. I used to love it. I read a lot of murder mysteries, I watched scary movies, I liked to freak myself out. Since having kids, I've become a bit of a wuss, and it's comedies all the way. But even when I did enjoy that sort of thing, I hated being startled.
I remember for one birthday, my friends took me to "Screemers". Which, if you're not familiar, is apparently "Canada's #1 Indoor Haunted Scream Park". Now, some people may enjoy this kind of thing but I am not, and never was, one of them. I remember stumbling through with my face buried in my boyfriend's shirt, yelling at the people who worked there that they should leave me alone because it was my birthday. When a snake dropped out of the ceiling, I screamed and fell on the floor and refused to get up until it was moved. I actually punched one of the people who jumped out at me. (I still feel bad about it.)
Anyway. If anything, it's gotten worse. I hate being startled. It doesn't help that I've got really poor peripheral vision, so it's really easy to do. I spend half my time jumping out of my skin. My husband thinks it's funny that I always position myself so that I can see the whole room, like I'm an old timey gunslinger or something. The truth is, it's so that I don't get startled and scream, and embarrass myself in public.
So it is unfortunate that Kee has decided that she is a ninja. And that ninjas need to sneak. It's what they do. And part of sneaking is that when it looks like someone is about to find you, you jump up and yell "BOO!" at them at the top of your lungs. Which makes me jump a foot and drop whatever I'm carrying. Which may actually be her goal now.
So now I have to find something for her to pretend to be that is still fun, but more highly visible. Any ideas?
And don't say "clown", because they are oddly terrifying too.