Tuesday, October 6, 2015

It's Just a Phase. Right?

"Kee says that you're her favourite treasure, Mummy! That's how you know she loves you, despite how she treats you," Beege said, offering me a feel better hug.

Kee and I haven't been getting along so well lately.

She's always been stubborn, but mostly reasonable. If you had a good reason for her to do (or not do) something, there was a good chance she'd do (or not do) it.

Not the case anymore. She makes up her mind, and it doesn't matter what you say, or what else needs to be happening at the time, she will scream and cry and fight until she feels like she's got what she wants. And since I'm doing my very best not to give in and allow her to grow into an entitled tyrant, that means there's a lot of screaming and crying around here.

She glares at me and clenches her fists, she scowls and rolls her eyes, she screams and stops just short of hitting me. Over everyday things like asking her to wear pants, put her dishes in the dishwasher, or brush her teeth.

I am trying my best not to yell. Not to react. To let her know that even when we're fighting, even when it seems like we don't like each other, I love her. I tell her that I respect myself too much to allow her treat me the way she has been, and that I love her too much to let her continue behaving in a way that will make her life so much harder in the long run. I tell her that she can choose her own way, but that all of her choices will have consequences, good or bad. The hope is that eventually, the things I'm saying quietly while she screams at me will sink in and stay with her.

For now though, it's breaking my heart.
 


4 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I guess it's part of the journey we take as mothers. I've got a 16 and 18 year old. It's not always a party. But the good news is, by the time you figure out how to deal with it - she'll change. Gotta love them!

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    1. Lol... well thank you for that uplifting encouragement! I'm hoping that this stubborn hating me phase is over before she hits the teen years. It doesn't help that they're all completely different either, does it? Completely different issues with each kid, and even if it's the same issue, the same solutions don't work.

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