Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I Didn't Know He Made Juice.

When I was younger, if I wanted to try something new, I would base my drink choices on strange names or packaging. When I started drinking (gasp!) alcohol, I very often ended up with a glass of miscellaneous green or Windex-blue.

Apparently, I have not changed much at all; when I saw this at the store, I could not resist. It was even pretty tasty!

Apparently, lots of people who are not me did know about "an Arnold Palmer." If you throw in some grain alcohol, it's called a "Happy Gilmore*." Golfer drinks... who knew?

*I probably won't be doing that.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Where I'm From.

I am from books, from Jiffy Pop and Supercycles.

I am from the house in the middle of my street, from curling up on my daddy's lap to watch thunder storms.

I am from lilac bushes that made excellent Barbie tree houses and roses that were beautiful end-of-the-year teacher's gifts.

I am from camping in the summer and sunburned skin, from Christmas dinner at the G's, from forts made of sheets and chairs.

I am from the obsessive worrying and saying yes to too much.

From wearing clean underwear in case you're hit by a car and being nice to my sister.

I am from Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. From stockings and treasure hunts.

I am from Canada and England, from Kraft Dinner and Trifle.

From the time my brother shoved matchsticks up his nose, the time my sister got her bike stolen, and the fact that mum always paints rooms that same putty pink.

I am from falling apart photo albums and the shoebox under the bed.

If you do this too, leave me a link; I'd love to know where you're from!

The template is here.
Thanks for the idea, Ali!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Fix Me.

I finally went to the doctor today. Apparently, a hole (fine, it's more of a large dent) in your leg is a perfectly normal thing, and I just have to get used to the disfigurement, a la stretch marks and spider veins. (Thanks, kids! Although, I haven't found a way to blame them for my leg dent yet.)

We haven't quite figured out the other stuff - the tingling, the muscle spasms and the falling asleep in the middle of a sentence stuff - but they've taken blood to test. I have to go back in two weeks, somehow*, to discuss any results. And the fact that there may not be any physical reason for my fatigue; other than the two small children hanging off my legs.

I'm kind of hoping that there is something in the blood work. Small and easy to fix, but something. Because I would really like to be able to take a pill or cut something out of my diet and start feeling like myself again. And if it's not physical, that means it's mental.

Although, as my friend pointed out, they've got pills for that too.

*It's generally hard to find someone to watch the kids in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week. And I really don't want to take them with me.

Friday, June 17, 2011


Today, was Beege's senior kindergarten graduation.

It was, as expected, adorable. Beege was radiant. She is officially on her way to grade one next year. There were cupcakes; I didn't get one.

My only other comment on the proceedings is that playing this song while putting up a slideshow of the children's pictures, captioned by their favourite memory, somehow seemed more like a memorial service for a school bus crash.

Which was absurd enough that I didn't cry, even though I started out a little drippy-eyed when I first saw her sitting there in her silly paper mortarboard.

Can't emotionally manipulate me! *sniffle*

Want to know more about Israel Kamakawiwo'ole?

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Mary Had a Little Lamb.

Since September, Beege has been taking piano lessons after school on Wednesdays. For me, it's been a nice extra hour with Kee. For Beege, it's been an after school activity where she got to hang out with some friends from school and, presumably, learn to play the piano.

Last night, we went to her first ever piano recital. Where we heard her, and a bunch of other 5 and 6 year olds, play the piano. It was about what you'd expect from such a group; we heard "Happy Birthday" and "Mary Had a Little Lamb" quite a few times. There was one boy who played the theme from "Star Wars" who got a big round of applause. The kids were all taught to bow and curtsey at the end of their pieces.

I'm really hoping that I don't have to go to one of these things again any time soon.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it was totally cute. I'm very proud of my daughter for practicing and being excited about performing. This thing was so disorganised it made me crazy though. There were no signs in the school telling us where to go. There was no order to the performers; the teacher seemed to pick them at random. The children were allowed to run amok at the back of the room when they were done performing. It was nuts. And hot. And, sadly, while I was trying to video Beege playing, her teacher kept getting in my way.

Actually, I think that's really my issue. I've got a video of her teacher's butt with audio of Beege's "Mary Had a Little Lamb."

The most important thing is that Beege got down from that piano with a face that shone like the sun.

I just wish I had video.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

One A Day: Reprise.

The problem with saying that you'll do a post a day, is that you have to do a post a day. I actually thought it would be easy; I have ideas! (And failing that, my kids are pretty funny.)

I think it's actually the forcing myself to do it that's causing problems. One of the reasons that I would hesitate to call myself an "artist" or a "writer" is that I'm good... in spurts.

I'll have a week of writing that I think is pretty good. Witty, funny, vaguely intelligent... and then the next week sucks. I suppose that's what this exercise is all about; training myself to work through the blocks.

So. If you come on over to my blog and wonder why it is that I'm talking about nothing, just assume that I'm stuck. And that my kids didn't do anything funny today. Or that I'm trying really hard to come up with an idea, but all I can think about is ice cream.

Right now, it's the ice cream.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Get Your Motor Running...

For her 3rd birthday, Kee was the ecstatic recipient of a scooter and helmet from my parents. Beege has been working towards a scooter with her chore chart for months and, in a happy coincidence, got hers last week as well.

Finally, on Sunday, a sunny day that wouldn't melt our faces turned up and we got to take them over to the school yard to try them out.

I'm actually kind of glad that Kee's still in diapers, because she had some extra padding. I'm still not sure how she managed it, but she kept falling on her bum. Beege, not having any knee pads, got the worst of it.

Obviously, we need more practice.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

They Grow Up So Fast!

The other day, I slept through my husband getting up to go to work (as usual) only to be woken up by him chatting with someone outside. What the hell? Who on earth is he talking to in the yard this early in the morning? Being the curious (aka: nosy) person I am, I threw on some flip flops and went outside to find out.

As I opened the door, the first thing that I noticed was that Mama Bird was looking pretty murderous, and sitting closer than she ever had before. She wasn't looking at me though, she was shooting the stink eye, and tweeting her head off, at my husband.

It was not difficult to see why. He was standing there, chatting with one of the babies. Who happened to be sitting on the garden gate that he had to go through to get to the car.

I can just imagine what Mama was saying to that baby too: "I TOLD you not to land there! Don't move! Not even a feather! If that monster doesn't kill you, I WILL! DON'T MOVE!"

My husband, being a generally prudent man, chose not to risk having his eyes pecked out and went through the front door instead. I stayed out for a little while longer, and got to see Baby fly drunkenly over to one of the trees in the yard.

They haven't been back since, and really? While I'm a little sad to see them go, I'm pretty happy that I don't need to worry about birds falling on our head as we leave the house anymore. We're going to take their nest down tomorrow so that no new tenants move in.

On that note, I promise I will not post about birds again for a really long time.

Friday, June 10, 2011

When I Grow Up...

I want to be a chef. No, really. Not a professional chef, but I would like to be able to look in my fridge and come up with something tasty made of what I see in there. Maybe have some variety on the shopping list, that kind of thing.

Of course, it's a little difficult with the kids, because, being kids, they will eat macaroni and cheese. And sometimes pizza. And every once in a while, just for fun, one will eat something while the other won't, and then they switch. It's a little aggravating.

It's not that they won't eat healthy(ish) food; they love my lima bean cookies, and they prefer whole wheat to white, but there is no variety.

The worst thing about their complete lack of adventure is that it seems like there's no real point in cooking anything better. So all of us end up eating crap. It's disheartening, and it's making us overweight and unhealthy.

So. Over the summer, I'm going to try and get these girls to eat something better. We're going to go to the farmer's market and I'm going to let them pick out the ingredients and recipes. We're going to eat better, whether they like it or not.

Eventually, maybe we can go from Kraft dinner to something a little more elegant.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

That's My Girl!

Today, while I was playing with Beege, she got a little over zealous and accidentally knocked me down. My back twisted funny, and next thing you know, I'm lying on the floor in pain. So what did she do?

She got me a pillow for my head. She propped up my feet. She brought me a couple of blankets. Then she brought me her teddy bear, tucked me in and read me a story. When she was done with that, she crawled under the blanket with me, hugged me, and asked me "is that better, mummy?"

We are doing something SO right.

What's In A Name?

You know how people name boats, and guitars and things? Well, I know a surprising amount of people who name their computers. Which, really, shouldn't surprise me all that much considering the people I know. I'm a little disappointed though, because I thought it was kind of quirky that I name mine. Apparently I'm perfectly normal.

I haven't come up with a name for the new kid yet.

I've got a laptop called Penelope (which is, incidentally, what I used to call my husband in university - only, pronounced "Pee-na-lope" - and he still married me!) and my netbook's name is Nerdlinger.

I forget quite when Penelope got her name, but she was certainly named for the guy who gave her to me. Nerdlinger was Nerdlinger right out of the box with no explanation. For some reason, for the new kid, no names are coming to me.

Perhaps if I think about its qualities, something will present itself as the perfect name.

Okay... it's pretty slick. The interface is very pretty. It's super light (I can't wait to get an e-book reader on there!). I don't actually have anything on it yet, except for a web browser and photo booth, so I haven't done much with it. I did sit down last night to do my blog post* on it, but it was nearly impossible.

For starters, there's auto correct. Please, for heaven's sake, stop capitalising my email address. Really. I know that's a proper name, but it's an email address! You're supposed to be smart! Stop it!

Also, I can't seem to remember passwords. They're in my hands, not my brain, and if I have to keep switching between letters, numbers and special characters I need to be reprogrammed. Which could take a while.

Once I finally got into my blog, I tried to type on the "keyboard." It wasn't good. I'm a typist who rests on the home keys. I'm very comfortable with that. I am speedy and accurate. I can't rest my fingers on a touch screen - even though for some perverse reason they've marked the home keys. I ended up typing a lot of "dasfjh" which auto correct would turn into "daschund", which is a lovely word, but not the one I wanted.

After about half an hour of the frustrating exercise of getting on a roll just to be derailed by contemplating the bizarre auto correct corrections, I gave up. It has turned me into a two-finger typist, which will just not do. I think, for now, I'm going to have to stick to the full sized keyboard to do any actual typing.

Basically, I'm a little old lady who has gotten used to doing things a certain way, and when you change those things on me, I can't find my email.

Maybe I'll call it Bob.

*For anyone who's counting, yes, I did miss a day. However, I figure if I manage two today, I can call it even.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Day Seven... Uhm...

Whew! I almost couldn't think of anything to write today! Thank goodness my husband is a month late with my anniversary gift.

I haven't gotten to play with it yet, but I'm pretty darn excited to see how Angry Birds looks on it. Did you guess yet?

That's right, I am the proud owner of a shiny new iPad2! The funny thing is that I think it was last year about this time that he bought me my net book. And it was quite possibly also for our anniversary that he bought me a laptop. And my iPod. There is a definite technology theme running through gifts from him. I suppose that's to be expected though, him being a tech guy.

What's really funny though is that I'm practically a Luddite. I do like shiny things though, so I guess it all evens out because, boy, is it shiny. It's so thin and slick looking; totally appeals to my inner aesthete.

Now I have to go look for a nice steam punk skin for it and then I can get down to business.

Ooooooooooooooooooooh. If I was the type to "squeeeeeee!",
I totally would.

Monday, June 6, 2011

A Google A Day Can Make You Insane.

Don't get me wrong, I love Google; I don't know how I'd find anything on the web without it. I sometimes google random words just to see what comes up... try it, it's fun. If there is any occasion when you shouldn't use Google though, it's when you have a health question.

Really. I googled when my wisdom tooth started coming in, and it almost convinced me that I was going to die. From a tooth.

The symptoms for diseases that might kill you are so random! That diarrhea? That wasn't because of the three tacos you had last night; that's a parasite. Sore neck? Why, that's meningitis! Lost weight? Gained weight? Probably cancer.

As far as Google is concerned, you're going to die.

So, when I idly started googling this time, I expected to find some really exotic disease. Something really fancy. I mean, this time, I have an interesting symptom!

I'm missing a chunk of my leg.

I noticed it a few months ago. You know how sometimes, if you sit with your elbow leaning on your leg, then when you sit up there's kind of... a dent? Well, that's what it was like. Except those dents go away afer a few minutes, and this one did not. My husband couldn't really tell where it was if I didn't put his hand on it; so we decided that it was probably nothing.

At this point, he certainly doesn't need my help finding the dent. It's gotten wider, and it's gotten deeper. Now you can even find it just by looking at my leg even when I'm wearing jeans. It looks as though the muscle is being eaten away. Combine that with the fatigue, muscle spasms and random shooting pains, and I thought for sure good old Google would come up with something fun.


Now I'm really convinced I'm going to die.

The worst part is that now that I've finally decided maybe I should see a real human doctor about it, who might be able to tell me what's going on, I wasn't able to get an appointment for two weeks.

That's a lot of time to build up some crazy.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Birds.

There are several reasons I'm so obsessed with these birds:

1. I've never been in close enough proximity to observe a nest this way, and it's fascinating how quickly the birds grow.

2. It's so interesting to watch them interact with their mother and see how she interacts with the environment around her. We've seen her feed them now, and it's pretty cool. She never leaves the area when we're around; when she's really antsy, she parks it on the clothes line that runs above the deck.

3. I'm positive that one of these days (considering the babies are getting so much bigger every day) I'm going to step out the door just as one of them gets restless and accidentally kicks one of it's brothers or sisters out of the nest. It will land on my head; there, it will poop out of fright and start digging its claws into my scalp. Misreading the situation, the Mama will swoop down to claw at my face and peck my eyes out.

Mostly though, it's just because they're neat.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Do You Haiku?

their small hearts beating
quiet soulful reminders
of why I am here

Friday, June 3, 2011

Summer is Here!

At least it was on Monday; 34 degrees! I think we're back into spring again for a little bit, and I for one am thrilled. Because, really? I hate summer.

Except for camping, I didn't even really like it when I was a kid. I was one of those weird kids who loved school and spent most of August impatient to get back to it. What can I say? I like structure.

Also? I know you can't really tell from my profile picture, but I'm a red-head. I'm a red-head with pale skin and a profusion of freckles who can manage to get a sunburn even when wearing 60SPF, a voluminous shirt and a hat the size of a hula hoop. I especially hate those 34 degree days (93.2F) when wearing my layers of sun protection means sitting around, barely able to move, melting into a puddle of sweat and despair.

It's hard to believe that there was ever actually a point in time when I would lay out on my back porch in the sun trying to get my fish belly legs to tan. I have, of course, since realised that I'm not going to tan. I'm just not. I'm much more likely to end up in bed, with a splitting headache, smeared with aloe vera and cursing my idiocy. It's time to embrace the pale.

To that end, I've finally decided to invest in some really heavy duty sun blocking clothes. They actually qualify as a "medical device". They're supposed to be light weight and very breathable. Of course, I may look like I'm on safari.

On the bright side, I'll probably have nice skin when I'm 80. So that's something.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

"I wanna look at my cake!"

And, with a splat, my baby turns three.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

One A Day.

My husband, the musician, has issued himself a challenge. He is going to be writing one song a day for the next 30 days. They don't have to be particularly long or spectacular; it's just a way to make sure that he writes something.

I've decided to issue myself a challenge as well, partly because I'm going to need something to do while he's off writing songs.

So. I will be writing one post a day. For 30 days. We'll see how it goes. Of course, here it is, day 1 and nothing super exciting is going on.

How about a bird update?

Sadly, on the way home from the fun fair, I found a very tiny baby bird on the deck next to the door. I imagine it had fallen out of the nest. Wimp that I am, I went downstairs and sent my husband up to give it a proper burial and didn't mention it to the kids.

Today, I managed to get the ladder out again and take a couple of pictures of the nest to see how the other three are doing. They look great!

Although, I suppose I could have guessed that from the fact that there are now two dive bombing nest guards. They come at you from either side; it's actually pretty freaky. There's also something that looks like a wasp's nest being built under the light. And a really big spider.

You know what? If you're coming to visit, you might want to come in the front door.